109: The Start of Something New (hsm reference)

2020 was an interesting year for me. I wrote this because EVERYONE has constantly encouraged me to try and write something. The year started off with my Board Exams and the COVID-19 pandemic and 5 months of a monotonous routine repeated every day. Seeing only the faces of my mom and dad in person every day for 5 months. I love them A LOT but I needed to see people and I couldn’t.

The problem lies here : I thrive in social settings, I love to talk, I love to meet people, and I hate repetition. So those 5 months were hard. In those 5 months, I hoped that I’d sit in solitude, rather than feeling isolated, but well not everything you hope for comes true. (cliché line hehe) Then, slowly and I mean SLOWLY, I started to see the rest of my friends, and it felt better. But also, weird. I made some great friends, some who’ve left, some who’ve still remained to be my friends. Those 5 months were in a very exaggerated way; CRUEL to me. You sit alone, and you start thinking. AND THINKING, and eventually you overthink, and it becomes a downward spiral of just negativity. So, when I see people who learned to live with just themselves and found peace in that silence, I envy them.

I guess what made me angry the most about COVID was I barely met people, and my parents and I were very cautious about the virus. We still ended up getting it. It felt like all that isolation was for nothing. It just led to more isolation. Obviously, I’m wrong for thinking of it like that, but I was annoyed.

2020 though, did open my eyes on some things. In the most random way, I learned the art of planning meticulously. I learned to appreciate the people in my life even more. I found a best friend I know I will never lose and got even more close to my other best friend and well, we’re inseparable. I think I ended up befriending more dog friends than human friends and I’m not complaining.

So, to be honest nothing really significant happened in 2020 for me (except my besties of course). I want to believe it’s because everything was lining up for 2021. 2021 was filled with opportunities, that I grabbed. I mean, I couldn’t use the pandemic as an excuse anymore. From volunteering with an animal rescue group and making more friends, to interning at a law firm and obviously making more friends. Also, winning my first student council post as House Captain in 12th so I guess people had faith in me. I also ended being sure of what I want to take up after school. It all lined up. So maybe, in that sense I am grateful for 2020.

In the end, I think 2020 just taught me about acceptance and patience and more importantly it’s okay to not be okay. 2021 taught me that I can’t please everyone, and that hit hard cause sadly, I am a people pleaser. Well not anymore.

Rachael Anthony – Reposted from youthof2020stories on Instagram, a humansof2020 initiative

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