57: Let Gratitude be your new Attitude

Dec 2019: It feels like yesterday when we were captivated with the news of the onset of a new virus in China. And then gradually we heard of numbers picking up around the world. Life still felt normal, and most of us in our ignorance thought this could be contained, but we were so wrong!

As we proceeded into March 2020, the reality started sinking in. Numbers were rising and I still remember office conversations over the lunch table with my team. We spoke about the spread of the virus and what lies ahead for all of us. Would we have sufficient grocery supplies, water, money? We discussed it all. We kept watching the news to educate ourselves & allowed the fear to settle in… about something that was beyond one’s control. Who would have guessed the magnitude of this virus?

On March 19, 2020, we were asked to work from home. I still remember the chaos, the fears of the unknown as we stayed unsettled & bid goodbye to colleagues not knowing when we will see each other next. Lockdown happened in the UAE & in major parts of the world which brought about a lot of discomfort to the ones who intended to travel & to the ones who were stuck up in different parts of the world.

Senseless grocery shopping happened to me too like so many others around. It was petrifying to go to the supermarkets & not find bread, vegetables & fruits on shelves. But instead of recognizing that same fear in others and finding a way to support each other, all we did was continue with our impulsive shopping and hoarding. It was the opposite for my kids, the opportunity to have your exams forfeited has never happened before and they were excited by the prospect of it.

I had always heard the phrase that man is a social animal & thanks to COVID realized how true it is. There were no more meetings, gatherings, partying; instead, zoom calls made its way into our lives. The fear of the unseen enemy was always lurking at the back of our minds, into our homes and ripping us off our mere existence. There was no good news, the news was mostly about increasing infections and deaths. For the first time, we were fearful for our own lives & the lives of our loved ones.  It was a painful time for so many of my close friends. Some lost their loved ones and had to say their goodbyes and attend the funeral on a call. I have never witnessed something like this in my life ever. So much of pain around for so many, and a feeling of helplessness. It was a time when words simply fall short.

The pandemic had gripped the world, and no one could escape it. Everyone had their blessings and burdens. The stress of losing one’s job was constant. I was no different. My husband & I had endless conversations on how we would survive this storm as we both had reduced salaries to deal with. We had to prepare our kids that we may have to wind up from the UAE and go to India. They did not like it, but we had no choice, but to prepare for this very real possibility. We kept this at the back of our minds and carried on with faith, that whatever is best for us will happen and with this faith, the power of prayers started making its way. By God’s grace, we both survived the redundancies in our company, but it was not a happy time because we both had to see wonderful colleagues go & it was painful. The brief relief of not losing one’s job each round is quickly overshadowed by the guilt and sore ache that we survived but others did not. It was a complex, emotional time but also filled with many moments of little things that helped us reevaluate our lives and see it from a different perspective.

COVID 19 brought the world to a standstill and we had to learn to live differently. We could hear the birds chirping and for the first time, we were listening, taking it in, enjoying the moment. We could stop & realize how beautiful family time actually was. As a working mother of 2, this was the first time in 12 years that I spent quality time with my kids playing monopoly, baking with them, cooking for them & caring for them. We came together as a family, not only supporting each other through our worries, preparing for uncertainties but also loving and caring for each other and creating memories that will stay with us forever.  And to top it all, I have rediscovered my lost passion for painting which I gave up years ago.

It’s almost a year now that we are living in the ‘new normal. Masks up, smiles lost behind them, but that hope is still in our eyes & in hearts, that life will come back to normal. The vaccine has brought immense hope to us residents in UAE & for people around the world. Can’t be thankful enough!

Was COVID trying to pass on a message to mankind here? Who knows..

In the hustle-bustle of life, where we were so busy in making money, perhaps we actually forgot to live our life.

COVID has taught us all a bitter lesson that we don’t have time, we don’t have health, nor all the wealth stored can save us all & we don’t have family/ friends forever so… I’m going to savor the coffee while it lasts.

I now choose to live my life with faith and empathy, love the people in my world and wear the Attitude of Gratitude.