9: Lest we forget

I prefer not to put labels on things. 2020 was just a year – a period lasting 365 days; not a ‘good’ year or a ‘bad’ year. Sure, there were things that happened that were challenging and often excruciatingly painful, especially for those who fell ill with the virus, lost loved ones to the scourge, or had their livelihood taken away.

Still, bad things will keep happening in 2021 and beyond. But because of the lessons we’ve learned, we’ll be better prepared – if we remember to never forget.

Here are some lessons I learned:

How little you can live with and still be happy: Pre-COVID and the lockdowns, I never had the opportunity to experience this for myself, thanks to freedoms and things I’d always taken for granted.

How to not judge toilet paper hoarders: Fear brings out the worst in us, especially selfishness parading as ‘survival’ – but that’s a human trait, and we’re still human (last time I checked).

How important it is to turn that fear from a headwind to a tailwind: Yep, you can either crumble in its wake or harness it to sail – or surge – forward.

How everyone has an opinion, but few have real solutions: Forget the pundits preaching from the pulpits; your circumstances are your own, and only you can come up with answers through introspection and by suspending reactive, fear-based behaviour long enough to have lucid, clear thoughts that will guide you through even the worst of times. Start with believing. Then graduate to doing. 

That the world has changed, and that’s OK: If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s change. No point fighting it. Understand it, embrace it, and ride the tide.

That we suffer more often in imagination than in reality: OK, so I got that from Seneca the Stoic, but it rings even truer today.

That your children will remember how you reacted – or responded: They’re always watching, so try not to lose the plot.It will stand them in good stead for their own generation’s financial crisis, pandemic, or when the ice cream scoop meets the asphalt – sans epic meltdown.

That people are counting on us, even if we’re all sailing in the same wobbly boat: Whether to employees, colleagues, family or friends, can you be a source of reassurance, a beacon of hope, a calming presence? It’s hard, but somebody’s got to do it. Why me? Why not me?

That people know who burped on Zoom even if their camera is turned off: Trust me, they know. 

That it’s OK to cry or even s**t yourself: No explanation required.

That there will be other challenges you won’t see coming: And there won’t be a way to prepare for it – except acceptance.   

That a lot of what we thought was important now ranges from ‘non-essential’ to ‘laughably stupid’, in the grand scheme of things: The extra cars and houses are useless during lockdown or quarantine. Or even in ‘normal’ times, until we figure out how to be in two places at the same time. Nothing wrong with having it all, just everything wrong with chasing it at the cost of what really matters.

…and what matters is relationships: In fact, it’s the only meaningful thing that endures.

That growing vegetables and fruits with your own hands is a superpower: One that everyone can and should have. Somehow, it pays to know that carrots don’t grow on trees.  

That people who love to eat, sleep, laugh and fart with abandon are pandemic-proof: It’s the eternal paradox. Go figure.

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