51: I carry on

I’m Rajamma, seventy years old from Palakkad, Kerala, India. I currently work with a family as a maid – cooking, cleaning and doing other odd jobs around the house.

I’ve had to depend on myself my entire life. I am a widow who has raised her children and three grandchildren all by myself. I won’t go into all the details but I’ve been working since I was ten years old when my parents passed away. At eighteen my uncle found me a groom and I was married. I looked forward to a blissful married life, but that was not to be. It wasn’t the best marriage and I continued working to support me and my two children (a girl and a boy). After fifteen years of being married my husband passed away.

I continued working providing for me and my children. I was so excited when both my children were married and settled down. I was hoping to take a break and be looked after for a change. But life had other plans for me, my daughter-in-law passed away. My son abandoned his three boys and I took them in, the oldest was only five years old then. Since then I’ve dedicated my life to providing for them – food, shelter, clothing and education. I have tried each day to do the best I can. My daughter is divorced and is a single working mum taking care of her two boys.

When 2020 came around I was very excited as I had managed to find a girl for my grandson to marry. I used up all my savings and borrowed money to pay for the wedding. Those were happy times. Then the suddenly the world closed down because of a virus. It didn’t affect me much as I continued working and staying with the family that employs me. Everything was going well, but four months after the wedding, my grandson felt some uneasiness in his hand which only got worse with time. Finally after many scans, medications and a misdiagnosis, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He died 21 days later leaving behind a pregnant wife. While 2020 may have been the year of the virus for the world, for me I didn’t have time to think of the virus. I witnessed a marriage, death and the birth of my great granddaughter all in 2020. My great granddaughter lives with her mother at her maternal grandparents house. I feel bad about it but they will be able to provide a better life for her than I can.

I’ve had a tough life and sometimes I wonder, why me? There are no answers. I’m grateful to work with a family that does not discriminate against me  based on my age. Life has been tough but I carry on each day, because I don’t know how not to carry on. I hope I can continue to work and see my other grandson marry and settle down.

As told to humansof2020.