71: Do “YOU” Believe in Miracles?

Do “YOU” Believe in Miracles?

In February 2010, we were ready to welcome our daughter into our lives. Our son Zidane was four years old, and we were excited about the newest addition to our family. And then Ria arrived, only it did not go according to MY plan. Yes! I had a plan and dreams, as most of us do. There is a saying – man proposes, God disposes, and I have truly come to understand and accept what that means.

As soon as Ria was born, she was diagnosed with Tracheoesophageal Fistula. the upper part of the oesophagus (tube connecting the mouth ) does not connect with the lower oesophagus (the tube from the stomach.) It often happens along with another rare birth defect, called a Laryngeal Cleft Type -2 which is a connection wall between the upper part of the oesophagus and the windpipe (trachea) there was a slight opening, which meant if she had anything orally, it would get into her lungs causing infection and also cause air to pass from the windpipe to the oesophagus and stomach, and stomach acid to pass into the lungs. These defects mean the baby will not be able to breathe easily or swallow safely, if at all.

None of this made any sense to me too. It all came hurtling down like a tornado. The baby was just a few days old, and I had to sign the documents for surgery and give my consent for something I barely understood. Think about how many times one reads over a form before consenting to send one’s child on a school trip. Yet here I was signing a document absolving those involved of any liability when our baby was a few days old. I did not have the luxury to think. Time was critical, as was faith, though it seemed as if faith was slipping away faster than time at that moment.

At 2 days old, Ria had the first of her many surgeries. She made it through her first surgery successfully, and I was relieved. But I knew at the back of my mind that this was only the beginning of  medical monitoring, medication, and medical procedures.

Keeping informed, experiencing, and accepting are very different things. I did my best to equip myself with information to be prepared, but these are not things one can truly prepare for. My husband and I were dealing with it the best way we could; we were together, yet alone, and sometimes it got lonely. While medical terms and treatment options were filling my mind, my love for my daughter, my heart. The uncertainty was draining my soul.

During a particularly rough time when I did not know if Ria would make it, a friend I had lost touch with for years came into my life. She was a Reiki healer and offered to do Reiki healing for Ria. I accepted; I was desperate and was willing to try anything. Even though it was not the norm, she visited me at the hospital and gave me a photograph to keep by Ria’s bedside. I had a little zip lock  for an altar next to Ria’s bed, and I put it there without giving it much thought. The following day, I was stunned to see Ria looking over her shoulder and gazing at that photograph. She had never behaved in such a manner before that day. That was the first of many miracles.

It is impossible to list all the miracles because there have been so many over the years.

1. Ria was not given any chance to survive (5 doctors told my husband we should give her up as she will not make it as these conditions were rare). With 12 major surgeries and being a ventilated baby for 17months and hospitalised for 15months. Ria is now 11 years old and functioning beyond what anyone imagined. She is a vibrant, happy and kind soul who inspires all around to do and be better.

2. So many beautiful humans, I prefer to call them angels, had waltzed into our lives to guide and support us just when we needed them.
3. My son has grown into a young adult who is compassionate, strong, and wise beyond his years. He makes me proud every day.
4. My husband is my hidden strength. I know he always has my back and how absolutely wonderful it is that we found each other in a world of billions of people.
5. I have found a strength that I never imagined I had or that I can be the voice of comfort to others. Reiki found me, and I am blessed to pass on this gift to others.
6. I have witnessed the best in humanity come together for Ria, my family and me.

For the past decade, I focused on doing what was best for Ria, my son, and my family. There was no time or thought for me. I would not allow it. But then the pandemic brought the whole world to a standstill, and my entire family, including me, who was sprinting without stopping, slowed down. While most of the world was experiencing prolonged uncertainty for the first time, I had reconciled with uncertainty a long time ago.

It was a strange place to be. I was at peace in the uncertain pandemic world that was familiarly unfamiliar to me but entirely unfamiliar for most.

For the first time in a decade, I had the time to just be, and I did for a while. However, the thoughts of doing something for myself started creeping up. Could I really? Should I? Isn’t life going to go back to normal soon? Yet, I could not put it aside, so I started a small home-based business with a bit of apprehension using my textile design background. I did not have any expectations, but it took off. Now, over a year into the pandemic, our lives have picked pace, but I have learnt to add myself to the schedule, and that is a miracle.

That photograph Ria was gazing at was of the spiritual master Meher Baba. At that moment, something within me changed forever. He restored my faith in God when I had none. Until that day, I was looking for answers outside – how to manage, what are the options, why is this happening? Meher Baba says, “Let the mind not take over the heart, listen to the voice of your heart.” And this has been my philosophy; I listen and do as my heart says, and as the saying goes, an open heart is a magnet for miracles. I believe it and hope you do too!

Did you know humansof2020.com is a self-publishing platform? The stories are not curated and open to everyone to share their experience. Join the community and post your experience today.