56: Building a Reservoir

2020 began as a year of new beginnings. We had recently moved into a new home, and it was an opportunity to start over with the radiance of positivity after a tough couple of years. I was happy to do up the house and discovered for the first time how much I enjoyed decorating our home and finding the joy of all these wonderful bits and pieces coming together beautifully. I felt a change was about to come, but it was not what I expected at all.

When the pandemic hit unexpectedly, I felt anxious, paranoid, and overwhelmed. I’ve had anxiety attacks in the past, but this felt different because, for the first time, it felt like the world looked calm but was chaotic. I thought, is the world reflecting me?

Gradually the anxiety within me calmed as the world around me and I found our rhythm. And in this rhythm, I found the courage to pursue a small home business. I’ve always been passionate about cooking and have always thought I’d start a business around food but never got around to doing it. If someone told me that I would start my home business during a pandemic, I would have thought they were crazy. But here I was, inspired to do and so my own small business for homemade pickles (also known as ‘achaar’ in Hindi), which is called ‘Bindu’s pickle’, was born. I was excited again. I was finetuning and trying out the recipes, figuring out the packaging, pricing, and delivery. And it was wonderful, I didn’t imagine that I would find a way to support my family financially during tough times, but I did, during a pandemic!

Now, I know the only one holding me back from pursuing my dreams was me. I found reasons why I could not do. I have learnt that all I had to do was start, and after a long time, I felt proud of myself. Before the lockdown, the family and I lived in the same house, but each of us in our lanes. My husband, two daughters, our dog, and I had our schedules, and it was hard to sit for a meal together. The lockdown changed that – we were part of each other’s lives again. We were watching late-night movies that would often end with a night of laughter. For the first time, we had a system to support each other as a family. Each family member had a role to play in cleaning, cooking, and doing the rest of the chores, which brought us closer than ever.

It sounds silly, but it took a pandemic for us to break old patterns, rediscover our bond as a family, find the courage to step out of my comfort zone and start building a reservoir of belief, love, and support that we can all tap into whenever our reserves are low, but more importantly add into because now we know how to.