Shared Consciousness Project is a search for human connection through art.
It’s quite simple: YOU SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME AND I WILL PAINT THEM !
My search began with this question:
How can I unite the world with the colours that have helped me this far?
This search began in September 2019 when I found out that my brain tumour had returned. Just thought of it affected me drastically & made me revisit everything I have been doing “How do I connect people through their differences and discrimination”. Having battled schizophrenia and multiple other conditions, the stigma I continue facing with my family because of schizophrenia, alongside the invisible effects of a brain tumour made me relook my narrative and work in mental health as an activist. I have been in mental health advocacy since 2004. After formally engaging in the field in 2010 following the ratification of the UN Convention on the Rights for Persons with Disabilities (UNCRPD), my artistic pursuits became secondary. I would paint when I had ‘free time’ or amidst meetings and conferences. Everyone in the sector could easily spot me sitting on the floor or in some corner painting, doodling or sketching and then jumping in on the conversations, panels and speaking. Awareness raising, fighting for what should be my right as a living person on this planet, asking for justice and agency in choosing what helps a person recovery or heal from their mental health afflictions, addressing issues of trauma, grief, loss that every human being experiences became my priority. Soon I began working in schools, as kids are just full of life, joy and happiness even if they are having a ‘bad day’. Once kids get to know you they don’t judge, criticise or undermine you. They accept even if they might not understand, unlike us adults. So my life since 2016 was completed devoted to teaching children from low income groups about utilizing their power with a purpose in order to find peace within. This program was called the Peaceful Warrior Changemakers and that change did happen. Another school wanted me to teach the same program. I was warned ‘Resh, if you feel the first school had violent, misbehaved students…this one is another level all together. I am not sure how it’s going to work’. But I took it up because kids are kids after all and we must consider the circumstances and situations that have shaped them into being the way they are. Many of them do not have a choice. One of my interns on his first day said, ‘Didi, these kids are impossible compared to the other school. Whatever we did yesterday does not work today’. I told him, ‘Then in that case that is where the possibility of having to improvise and challenge ourselves each time lies. And this means truly getting creative and what we are doing, how we are doing it and repeating this process’.
What we (my interns and me) got in return was love and acceptance. These kids wouldn’t let us go not just because they wanted to avoid studying other subjects, but we could tell there was a sense of attachment, bonding and love they were holding on which they might or might not get once they step out of the school gate. These kids showed me the true meaning of resilience. They shared what little they had with me when I forgot to get my lunch. They taught me football and reminded me ‘Didi, see you are looking sloppy when you don’t come to school and play football with us’, and we would burst out in laughter and jokes that might be considered inappropriate and indefinitely politically incorrect. I felt free with them. I was not bound by any sense of having to watch my words, being politically correct and my English didn’t matter cause they prefered my remix of English and Hindi. I told them about my tumor, my epilepsy and often another round of enacting a fit would transpire in class with a student falling and pretending to be in a fit then getting up and playing a demon – quite like a scene from exorcist. I forgot about my own tumor, my seizures let alone my sleep disorders as I returned home and crashed to sleep each time. I did not need to resort to a muscle relaxant for my nerves, as I was so exhausted in my brain & body, where the firing of neurons that trigger a seizure just didn’t happen. I always felt I was walking into a room of ‘schizophrenia’, into my own brain where each kid was so unique and represented one part of myself: hyperactive, aggressive, calm, withdrawn, violent, rude, kind, suspicious, paranoid, crazy, rebellious, accepting, letting go, falling, getting hurt, hurting, religious, devilish, godlike, naughty, intelligent, determined, joyful, joker, riot, leader, caring, helpful, sharing, loyal, overthinking, anxious, sad, depressed, frustrated, angry, afraid, let down, upset – I saw me in all of them and I felt complete. This completion allowed me to sleep peacefully at night, my brain calmed on it’s own, I didn’t have to resort to meditation, green tea or yoga. My very students were my meditations.
This was the same answer I once told a teacher who asked me ‘How is it that you are not overstimulated and exhausted with them? We are unable to deal with their energy levels!’
But as schools shut following the COVID – 19 pandemic, I lost my only source of hope which came from the interactions I had with my students. Waking up each day just to be with them was something I looked forward to irrespective of having seizures, losing memory and temporary loss of days and function. We had many plans lined up in our sessions and I felt helpless when I could not help them deal with the pandemic. Then my opportunity to connect with other humans surfaced in May 2020 when I asked individuals to share their thoughts with me and I began painting them. It gave me hope while I saw how it uplifted others who couldn’t paint, or express themselves creatively.
This was how Shared Consciousness came into being. A voice in my head told me “If you are going to create art, it should be to awaken others and a tool for bringing people together – not a revolution, not a reaction, nor a fight”. I thought about this voice and how do I do this. How do I create beautiful art without compromising on my style and method while yet getting others involved. Am I going to be limited to showcasing my art in a gallery setting or can I include other individuals in my process and the final outcome too. Where each person gets to leave their mark, their legacy of their stories on the same canvas I paint.
I wish to display the collection across multiple grounds, and stadiums throughout the country, hopefully the Motera Stadium in Gujarat for the final 1512 rolls. Each roll is currently being displayed on the walls/grounds of my studio space in Pune. Once the first 500 are completed and verified end of 2021, they will enter the INDIA BOOK OF RECORDS for ‘The Largest Painting single handedly painted by an artist with schizophrenia’. Sale proceeds of the paintings will be donated to organizations working towards the needs of children with disability, mental illness, intellectual & neuro-diverse groups, for to those children who have lost out on their education in order to financially support their families. Each canvas roll is 5ft x 32 ft making 500 rolls when combined measures 82,000 sq.ft. of human experiences hand painted.
I hope to reach out to individuals across this planet to share their narratives for this project and support it in any possible way they can. Narratives do not need to be lengthy stories. Images of quotes, words, photography, doodles, music, craft, anything that is your ‘go-to’ can be submitted as an image.
More information about my project is listed here: Shared Consciousness Project
Share your hopes, struggles, dreams, fears, loss, gains any of it with me to paint! Because the world does not need more successful people, it needs peacemakers, encouragers, changemakers, healers, dreamers, and kindness for the next generation and their children and theirs in turn!
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You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Thank you Ramesh! I would certainly love to paint your story too if you wish to share.
Love your project and the foundation you’re building it on – to create, awaken and connect. It feels like the universe is speaking through you. Wishing you love and light and look forward to visiting your exhibition. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Thank you very much Bettina for your support and the platform to share it with others!