43: 2020 the Year that WAS!

At the start of this ‘unforgettable’ 2020 year, I wrote and posted an article on LinkedIn! Talking about the clarity of vision!!

2020 wow super number super year?! This a year of clarity, if our vison is weak and fuzzy, we can’t see the details, read the signs and we each need ‘correction’.

What comes to my mind is….  Vision as in 20/20 being able to see clearly even the finest print at the bottom of the optometrist chart.

Imagine how happy, fulfilled and confident each of us will feel when we have clarity in all aspects of our lives. There is much to be done in 2020. It is the year of exceptional change in the structures, values and nature of our modern world and each of us will play an important role.

2020 is all about ourselves -dedication, commitment, responsibility, and enacting of a life plan that engages us to actively manifestation of our goals.  It is a year of Rising to the occasion and taking a leap of faith. This is when we courageously step up in our heart’s direction. This call to action is for EVERYONE.  Be ready and willing to accept the invitation and the challenge that 2020 is extending to you.

Building solid foundations in 2020–  Stabilize our  framework, reinforce our foundations even if it requires ‘cathartic excavation’ to ensure a strong foothold with no hesitation, no ifs, buts or maybe later, just do it!

We often blame circumstances around us- the economy, the job market, bosses, colleagues, clients,  our spouse or partner; in short, we play the victim card. OK, so we can’t control world inflation, the slowing economy, fewer opportunities and a sparse job market. What does that do to you and me ? Are we depressed, disappointed, frustrated , angry and resigned to another year of struggle filled with emotional lows?

Most of our issues are related to our financial wellbeing such as loans, credit cards, household expenses, family demands, expectations, outstanding payments, cancelled/delayed projects, the list is endless….  

The Question is:  are we ready to take on, step in, step up, grab, or discard?  For those of us interested in numerology, 2020 adds up to #4

Time for reflection and to take stock while being totally honest with oneself (finding excuses is self-sabotaging and is foolish and detrimental)

Our priorities this year:  Seize opportunities, Be in acceptance and Adapt to the new lifethat each is consciously choosing to live. Know what and who we want to be as individuals, where we truly want to be! Leave the current version of yourself in the past and embrace the much-needed revamp.

Little did I know how prophetic these words would be!

 The ODD factor – Old Age Disability Death

January  2020,  My active spritely 87-year-old mother suffered a stroke and then a seizure, was rushed straight to the resuscitation center of the emergency room of Rashid hospital in Dubai. She needed 24-hour care and I spent 4 nights sleeping on a plastic chair in the hospital scared, anxious, stressed and prone to teary outbursts. No matter how prepared you are mentally and emotionally; it is still a jolt and one experiences shock, disbelief, fear, a sense of helplessness distress in one moment.

Overnight my life, work and schedules changed. My sister and I struggled, our lives were turned upside down….work, meetings, deadlines, routine financial commitments,  coupled with unforeseen additional expenses kept appearing. To add to that was sleep deprivation, new medical protocols fear and an overwhelming feeling of uncertainty.

February, 2020  just when I thought I was coping and adjusting to these changes  the Universe threw up another challenge at me, my sister in law in India was admitted to the ICU with multiple organ failure. Circumstances being as they were,  the only person who could be there was me.  So, I left my sister to care for our mother and I flew to be at my sister in law’s hospital bedside. First hand I experienced seeing a person on life support where I had to carry out decisions. Even though the directives were not mine I still had to ensure instructions were carried out and that was extremely difficult; to sign off on a Do Not Resuscitate and experiencing death up close. 

The ODD factor hit me in the solar plexus really hard and I admit it knocked the wind out of my sails.

Independent to dependent is differentiated by just two letters IN and we could be in a place where none of us want to be where our

Self-respect

Privacy

Our likes/dislikes

Our wishes

Our Body and mind disconnect

Experiencing both physical and psychological trauma

Having to compromise on everything

This is what I found. I’m sharing this with you because in most families no one is prepared enough for what one might call eventualities and it takes a whole lot of adjustments, emotionally physically and financially.

If anyone says to me you won’t need ‘this’ or ‘that’ much money when you are old I will punch them in the face. The fact that people faced with these challenges silently bear the financial burden of this emotionally and physically draining experience does not mean they are not affected in a negative manner

You will need 3 time more money in old age then you do now and that’s a FACT.

Sure, you may not socialize, travel that often, slow down as it were.  If you are one for the designer clothes and accessories types and you spend an average of USD 3,000/- indulging yourself you will spend more than that to indulge yourself in health care in your ‘golden’ years per month and the amounts just go up, thanks to inflation.

Overnight, US$ 12,000/- cash from my account was spent when my mother suffered her first heart attack in 2016.  In 2020, she suffered a stroke and I have spent over USD 30,000/- to date  on hospital visits, medicines, buying new equipment and round the clock nursing care. Initially my sister and I thought we could manage but after we both damaged our backs, endless sleepless days and nights we had no choice but to get help.  24-hour care costs a bomb and the costs just keep rising.

Well the universe was about to deliver the kick in the butt the magnitude of which we are yet to experience

Corona? The only association prior was the beer not a Virus!  The swiftness with which this devastating  insidious scourge spread was incredible. It changed daily life drastically with words in the news such as Forced, Compulsory, Mandatory, Compelled,  Imposed to ensure everyone’s safety –  these made me feel stifled, uneasy and claustrophobic! Curfews restricted movements, the  feeling of being constrained was depressing. Forever the optimist I thought this too shall pass in no time but as weeks rolled into months and then more than a year the depression was getting to me.

Work was at a standstill, so was income, as I work on commissions, the whammy was yet to come. Fast forward October 2020 things were looking decidedly brighter but then the Insurance Regulators in the UAE decided to implement new rules which had a direct negative impact on the  personal life Insurance and savings related business. Not only were commissions halved, but clients would have to pay more for the same benefits. With the financial uncertainty all rounds, prospects just disappeared!

This was the time to sit back and think what avenues do I need to explore; No going back to the way things were

I had to be more OPEN to new ways – Innovation Creativity and all things Constructive and Positive

I decided to Invest in myself! my Time, Energy, Attention, Thoughts

‘Your Network  is Your Net-worth’  time to closely examine all the people I know

Categorize them: Business/ Social/ Can get you introduced/ Will recommend/Will support

Contact/ Reestablish/ Add/Delete

For those of you who like me have ‘resisted’ technology this was a 2020 master SKITA … Swift Kick In The Arse!

I was ‘Forced’  to learning on the job and play catch up but I honestly enjoyed the experience

As I ‘relaxed’ and allowed myself to explore rather than focus on what I had been doing I started to see a glow at the end of the tunnel

First, I counted my ‘blessings: My mother was regaining her independence, my daughter got married, (I became a Glam Ma on Jan 7^th2021) My son got himself a new apartment. I was invited and became head of the advisory board of a Beauty Pageant for married women. I got opportunities to speak on internationally conducted webinars, my interviews on social media received a great response,  more people got to know me and My life story was published in a book ‘Tough Roads Creates Tough People available on Amazon. Everyone in my family is Covid FREE!

I’m Focusing  on being and staying in the Best of Health in Mind and Body;  Diligently observing the Do’s and Don’ts

Getting on with my life Personal, Professional, Business.

One thing is for Certain…

News channels, Social media anywhere you click and you will see/hear its PANDEMIC , VIRUS, LOCKDOWN, Recession, Job Losses,  Death in short panic

We all know that Negative news sells and media is into whipping it up 24/7

With the way news is invading and pervading our minds one would think  that

People Are NotIn Control and,

 Paranoid Action NotIn Consciousness  is what is going on

“Panic causes tunnel vision. Calm acceptance of danger allows us to more easily assess the situation and see the options.” Simon Sinek

As you sit in your homes surrounded by doom and  gloom, Allow your creativity to Bloom that’s what I did and opportunities not related to my line of business have started to trickle in, I’m open to the flow and ready to receive!

I was interviewed and asked to share my comments in the media as one of the most obvious issues was and still is money  I was asked how should people ensure their finances are protected in the wake of the economic situation caused by the pandemic

My suggestions were and still are to reassess how and where we spend our money, the temptations aka leakages, do the math and see where all we were  being ‘forced’ to save!

• Movie nights at the mall
• Eating out
• Bars – Copious drinking at discounted’ prices
• Kids entertainment centers
• Trips to the beauty salon reduced
• That I must have cosmetic procedures disallowed by the Ministry for now
• Gym membership frozen
• Canceled vacation
• Wedding Celebrations well one can still get married just without the hoopla!! –
• Children’s snack money, mall money
• Commuting reduced petrol money
• No vacations

Once we add up all that each of us are saving, how much would we all have? How much can we stretch these savings to meet other prioritized commitments.

In the case of delayed salaries or pay cuts, how should people cope?  All of the above plus Time to Downsize, and to NegotiateIt’s not just me who is affected, everyone be it private or government, there has to be flexibility all around so if payments are coming up, be bold, call up, discuss and negotiate flexible terms.

I explored the ‘start up’ option in which I was contributing the intellectual property  This can be the scenario  when your company/project/business shows considerable potential for growth but lacks enough funds

Everything had to be in writing, I had to read, understand and accept/reject amend what was written

I was Not afraid to negotiate and protect my interests

All agreements had to be signed by all parties involved

My advice to all reading this; Never negotiate out of fear and don’t ever fear to negotiate

• The best negotiators are focused and determined individuals who understand each side’s motivations.
• Don’t be afraid to communicate exactly what you want, and don’t be discouraged if you hear “no” from time to time. That’s inevitable.
• Don’t be hasty or seem over eager. Just because your ‘pitch’ went well and an investor is willing to keep talking doesn’t mean the deal is done. 
• Ask for the next step
• Make sure you fully understand any offer, as well as the inevitable conditions that come with it.
• Ensure the deal points are clearly understood before making any decisions.

What are the ways to ensure financial security?

• Time is money, look into your personal papers are all in order
• Wills
• Inheritances
• Land /house deeds/property
• Investments – open ended, maturity dates, payments up to date?
• Insurances – Medical, life Critical Illness Disability, how much, beneficiaries
• Loans/mortgages/debt in whose name
• Power of Attorney have you given one/ do you hold this for anyone
• Sit with family members and bring them up to date on all of above