When I was initially approached by the creative team at humansof2022, I was delighted at the thought of people getting to know my story but the words on the pages didn’t flow because I didn’t have much of a story to share. I had just begun a fresh new chapter of life, and my story hasn’t been built yet. Now, a year later, many aspects of my life has changed and I think I’m finally ready to share my story because at last, I have one.
My name is Lilly and this is the story of how I started living the life that my younger self opposed, yet would so admire. A story of new beginnings. A story of how a girl from a little town moved to a big city. This is the story of how Dubai became her home.
The idea of wanting to move to Dubai was first implanted inside my head by my mom. At the time, it was an idea that I opposed – for I was a firm believer of choosing the path of life by myself.
The discussion began in 2017, when my mom and I visited the city for my winter break. Dubai was our chosen destination as we have been living in Bahrain for a decade, and any Middle Eastern residence acknowledge it’s an unspoken rule that if you live in the region, Dubai is a compulsory destination of visit.
Alongside that, Dubai was the first foreign land that my mom stepped foot in, and she reminisced her youth; she wanted to see if the city has changed over the years as much as she did and thus began our exploration in Dubai, the golden city.
At one of our outings, we conversed with the warm welcoming taxi driver regarding the city’s progress and future, and he mentioned about the city being the host for expo 2020. My mom then looked over to me, advising that I should make it my mission to attend the exposition as a volunteer, adding valuable experience to my resume. In retrospect, I couldn’t care less about a project that was set to be released in three years. I was focused on the taxi ride being over so I could show off my travel experience to all my peers back home.
Throughout our trip, my mom made remarks about how I needed to move here when I became an adult because the city would only keep progressing, and it held potentials that I would seek. She would accompany me in the first year for me to settle, and then reunite with my father to start the journey of their late life. Though intriguing, her constant reminder of it made me rather turn away from the thought.
She must have noticed that too, for the conversation of the move was never brought up again until the strike of the global pandemic.
I joined a new job at the time, just a week prior to the lockdown. Being the latest addition to the team with no legal commitments, I was let go alongside many other employees to cut down company costs.
But I didn’t complain. For around the same time, my mom’s long battle with her terminal illness began striking and its deadly potentials were brought to light. My dad, having a full time job with only a few hours to spare at home, which he utilized for his sleep and medical shopping for my mom, wasn’t able to attend to her needs at all times. I needed to be at home to look after her. And that is exactly, what I did.
The new routine repeated itself for the next two months. I woke up, listened to my mom’s orders for the day and set things accordingly to make it convenient for her to go about her day. It was exhausting, it was annoying, it was frustrating, it was everything I dreaded, but it was what I needed to do. My love for her was beyond all my frustrations combined.
Eventually, it was out of our control to help her so we brought her to professional medical care. She didn’t enjoy the experience and more so, she knew of her conditions better than anyone else and she didn’t want her last days to be spent at a depressing room with four pale walls.
She filled her days planning what she would do as soon as she “recovers,” for she kept trying to convince us that the illness wasn’t terminal. I hated the fact that she didn’t acknowledge the facts, but only later did I learn it wasn’t my father and I she was trying to convince all this time; it was herself. She wasn’t ready to let go of life yet, she wasn’t ready to let go of us.
Growing up in an Asian household, my mother never truly allowed me to perform any tasks on my own. Even when it seemed like I had a bit of independence, she would be monitoring my moves from afar. So you can imagine how overwhelmed with emotions a reserved young girl like me felt, for one of the last things my mother spoke to me while her mind still held conscience was, “remember when we planned for you to move to Dubai? I’m sorry I can no longer accompany you. But I KNOW that you’re going to strive on your own.” She spoke with tears in her eyes and her hands in mine.
Around that same time, I had found a new passion for content creation due to the excessive amount of time I spent indoors with the exposure to social media. I knew Dubai had a bigger marker for it, so for the first time, the move sounded interesting to me.
“Mom, do you think I can make it out there myself? Finding a job must be tough. Finding a housing must also be tough. Life by myself must be tough.” I ask, a million doubts flashing in my head all at once.
“I know. I was just like you not so long ago. It’s supposed to be difficult, because good things never come easy. Starting a new chapter is tough, but knowing you’re my daughter, you’re EVEN tougher…”
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The last two weeks of her life felt, unreal. Her mind was foggy, blurting out things that were incomprehensible. She could no longer differentiate reality from fantasy, and it hurt me physically to see my mom was slowly disappearing.
It was time I take a step to prove to my mom that her faith in me was worth it.
And suddenly, everything about Dubai just made sense. It was the place where my parents met one another; a city that reminds me of their love, the type of love that prolongs till one’s last breathe. It was the place where my mom began her journey to adulthood; a city of fresh beginnings and change. My mindset of “just because you started your path here doesn’t mean I need to,” quickly shifted into, “you started your journey here and I’m going to prove that I can do it too, and perhaps, even better.” Friendly fire, if I must say. My mom’s always fancied a competition, and I thought of myself as a worthy opponent.
Dubai is a place that had an opportunities for everyone, especially those in the creative field; which was a desirable industry that I could see myself get into.
–
March of 2022, almost a year after my mom’s passing, I was now 18 and have done just enough research on the city to becoming a part of it. My dad respected my decision and wished me the best, as he saw me get into the taxi on my way to the airport.
Revisiting the city made me fall in love with every aspect of it. Those were the grounds my mom walked on, those were the grounds that she created some of her best memories on.
The law of attraction truly is a mind-boggling concept; for because I kept a positive attitude going into the unknown, the unknown rewarded me with opportunities – on the third day of my stay, I landed a job interview.
Like a line of dominoes, one thing led to another – jobs led to networking, networking led to friendships, friendships led to having a community, and communities helped share opportunities. Simultaneously, I was working on my personal social media channels which was performing even better than I had anticipated. I suppose it was fascinating for the long term residence to see contents about the city, made from a new comer’s eyes.
Another year goes by, and I find myself being invited and involved in some of the largest events in the city, along with receiving non-stop packages from international brands. Students from high school and universities have approached me as an interview subject for their assignments, and companies want me to be the face of their campaigns. This is all so bizarre to me because never would I have imagined this. I owe this all to my mom taking a leap of faith in me, in my dad taking a leap of faith in me, and in Dubai for taking a leap of faith in me..
I’m currently writing all this while doing my travels around the globe; I’ve decided to take a gap year to give myself the rest I deserve and learn while traveling. And everywhere I go when I meet a fellow traveler and they ask me where home is, as a fellow expat, for the first time ever, I think I have an answer…
Lilly Lou Lijia
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