October 21st, 2021 will forever be etched in my heart. A day filled with tears and pain and lots more that followed thereafter.
Heartbroken, devastated and with a very heavy heart I heard of my close friend Shazia who lost her battle to Stage 4 breast cancer that awful morning. Many knew of her, through my posts of endearment on social media in the past 3.5 years but what people didn’t know about her was that not only was she smart and beautiful, she was very talented and had a wicked sense of British humor that only she could carry off well. From the moment she was diagnosed, she refused to let it control her. She fought this cancer tooth and nail. Documented her journey of this terrible disease and kept all of us who followed her on social media- in splits.
I met Shazia 19 years ago in small town Darien, Connecticut. We were introduced to each other as we were both Asians and our common friend thought it would be nice to get to know one another since we stood out from the all American crowd in that town. That was a start to a fantastic and long lasting friendship. We took the baton and ran with it, never looking back. Our friendship was as unique as the two of us. No hiccups, no arguments, no back-stabbing, no fights. We got on like a house on fire. And considering she was Pakistani and I was Indian, we truly made the best of the border jokes and egged each other on during cricket season! She had my back even when I wasn’t in the same room as her. A couple of years later, when she moved out of CT, I was very upset but I never doubted that we wouldn’t be in touch. Distance was never an issue. Thanks to FB and Social Media, we felt like we lived close by. Always lifting each other up and always in touch. We were blessed to celebrate our 40th birthdays in NYC and London and looked forward to celebrating our 50th together, as planned.
In March of 2018, she was due to come visit me in Dubai when I lived there. Her birthday week. As she was to fly out of the UK, I remember the phone call and message like it was yesterday. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. Having lost her best friend to cancer the year before, she was adamant to fight this fight, for herself and for her family she so adored. For 3.5 years, she fought long and hard but always keeping that signature smile. She was my Shero! I often told her that. As time passed and we aged, we got closer. Kept in touch a lot more than ever. I visited her in Feb of 2020, on my trip to the UK. Had our glass of bubbly together and toasted to 2021 when she would turn 50 and we would celebrate and dance like there was no tomorrow as that’s what we did best together. And then we would move on to 2022 to continue celebrating my 50th in June. Or so we thought…
In March, when she turned 50, we made do with a Zoom call and raised a glass to her health online, as travel had come to a halt, thanks to Covid. Due to the lockdown, I couldn’t travel to be with her as planned. And as time passed, she started getting weaker. Chemo wasn’t working. She was told to see the writing on the wall and make peace with herself. The cancer had started spreading. Numerous trips to the hospital for chemo and sepsis etc was beginning to take a toll on her health. Every time she wrote to me, she wrote of how tired she was and wanted it all to end. In her very own words “So wishing myself away from this earth as I’ve just seen hell on it”.
I knew of her pain and suffering but I was selfish and told her to hold on as much as she could-reminding her often that we had to dance madly at our kids’ weddings and that she couldn’t let me do it alone. But I guess she truly was tired.
She passed away peacefully, mid-morning on the 21st. Leaving behind her heartbroken family, friends and the Indian friend she met in CT.
My Shaz, You can never be defined by cancer and death because you were love, laughter, creativity, joy, excitement, and life! I will forever remember you as my sister and friend who taught me to always overcome troubles and struggles, with a smile and humor to always accompany it.
Your valiant fight with cancer is over now, so rest; you earned your Peace my Shaz. Watching you show unfathomable courage, strength, and positivity while battling cancer has really changed the way I look at life. Thank you for that gift you leave behind for me and so many others that followed your words of wisdom. In your own words “We have to live out what we’re given, with peace and love”.
Eternal rest grant unto Shaz oh Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her radiant and beautiful soul. May she forever Rest In Peace.
My deepest and heartfelt sympathies to Jonathan, Kami, Kurran, Aunt Abi and Sadia (and family).
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Very touching Nins. I feel your pain. I never had the priviledge to meet her, but through your writings and eyes I knew she was not only beautiful but a lovely soul. She is finally resting in peace leaving aching hearts behind. Such is life, we are all pilgrims here on earth, some depart early leaving us to mourn their loss. Stay strong. take comfort you have an angel in heaven. No more borders no more divide. God Bless