114: From A Mum to All Mums

As a parent, all you want is for your kids to be happy and know how loved they are. Like many, my husband and I had our share of struggles growing up and promised each other that we would always be there to hold our daughters’ hands through all of life’s joys and struggles. We always told our girls that we would be there no matter what and that as a family, we could face anything together. 

The four of us being able to share a life together has been my greatest joy and that’s why the past year and a half has been some sort of fresh hell that I never saw coming. 

I’m sure soo many women can relate to the fact that being a mother is one of the best yet most painful jobs on the planet. I had to be there to tell my kids everything was going to be okay when honestly I had no clue whether it was. As a family, we have been separated from my older daughter Thea for almost two years now, we have missed milestone birthdays, scholarships and graduations, and all the little moments that we would have loved being together for. I said “see you soon” to my hopeful 17-year-old when we sent her off to college and next year she will come home as a 20-year-old woman who has had to navigate this part of her life all alone. On the other hand, through this heartbreak, I’ve still had to be there for my younger daughter Jodi who I watched push through her final exams, breaking down with the uncertainty of where her future was going to take her during a global pandemic. As a wife, I watched my husband work soo hard to provide for us in a climate that threatened his job & our financial security. I questioned whether or not I was doing enough to hold our family together every day. 

This past year and a half, I have cried tears of anger, frustration, sadness, hope, gratitude and joy (sometimes all at once), I have learnt to laugh at all of life’s inconveniences and embrace the people around me who truly matter. For soo long, I hesitated to share my story because I knew that my struggles echoed those of millions of mothers across the world; having your heart shatter for your children who you cannot hold through this time of uncertainty while still seeming soo full of love and pride for all they are accomplishing. I noticed that myself and countless others around me have spent every day of the last year or so just surviving and I look forward to a time where we get to pause and appreciate all that we have learnt. 2020 taught me that my family and I are soo much stronger than I thought. It showed me that even though I may doubt myself as a parent, my husband and I have raised two girls who know how much we love them no matter how far apart we are, and that is all that matters at the end of the day (and a large glass of wine; cause that has been highly important as well).